I’ve always thought of third wheels like Mariah Carey’s single, “Loverboy”: underappreciated and underutilized. Third wheels have had a front row seat to countless relationships not their own, and an outsider’s perspective is a powerful, powerful thing.
As a self-proclaimed professional third wheel, I feel it’s my duty to share my fountain of knowledge with the world. Starting as early as middle school, I’ve wedged myself between my friends and their lovers, mentally jotting down their every move. Maybe because I was a giant and still not comfortable with my 18-year-old-sized body as an 11-year-old, but I, myself, never had a boy toy at my side. Instead, I kicked back my feet and watched as the horrors unfolded before me.
If I added up all the bad relationships and breakups I’ve been dragged through since then, we’d be in Carrie Bradshaw/Samantha Jones territory. And after carrying the emotional weight of…
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