What Happens When You Face Your Biggest Relationship Fear

This weekend was long and fast and hard. Since I started dating the guy I am, I’ve had one big fear– that I wouldn’t be able to measure up to the memories he has of his ex girlfriend.  In his eyes, she was the one he was meant to spend the rest of his life with, she’s the one who got away.  This weekend I came face to face with the fears as he let me know that they had been texting.  

I should have stayed calm, feeling relieved that he wanted to tell me about it instead of doing it behind my back and keeping it a secret. I should have known to find out before reacting.  However, I took the– why does he need to talk to her if I’m here in front of him route.  After a weekend of self-doubt and deprecation and crying on my couch or on the running trail– he finally let me know I need to stop worrying about her and stop stressing.  He reminded me that we are on the same page here and that she’s a part of his past and it’s just something that’s there.

I’m not saying my fear of her creeping back into his life or heart is gone, but I think this weekend was good in a way. He needed to remember that she hurt him so he can continue to let go and he needed to see that I wasn’t just going to get jealous and abandon him like she did.

I may be a fool setting myself up for hurt and a broken heart, but I’m risking that for something I believe could be really good.