Relationships– A Canyon.

Lately I’ve been trying to be a better version of myself.

That means a different thing daily, but one thing that has been involved in that process is strengthening those relationships that make me- me. The relationships that over time have molded me and shaped me– the ones who have challenged me, helped me to rise up, taught me to bend and so much more.  Much like a river can transform a valley into a work of art like a canyon– I feel like God places friends in our lives to transform each of us into the work of art that we are.

I’ve realized through a long-distance friend that while all of the moments in a friendship might not have been easy or beautiful, in the end something amazing is created.  A bond that can’t be broken and two pictures that couldn’t look the same without the other.  A river needs a canyon as much as the canyon needs the river so to speak– one to carve the other and the other to house the other.

A huge thank you to my friend for being my river and helping to cut away at my rougher edges and always being there with your constant love and support, and for always looking for the start of something beautiful in my own life– even when I haven’t been looking.

I hope you all have a friend who is either the river to your canyon or who you are the river to theirs.

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Do Relationships Get Shot Like An Arrow?

They say “An arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great.”  Lately, I’ve been wondering if that’s true of relationships too– maybe that’s where the cupid myth came from?

When you are in the new stages of a relationship and dating– there’s always a slight pull back period.  From my experience, that pull back period either flings you forward or pulls you back too far and the arrow falls to the ground.

It makes me wonder, how do you make sure your relationship arrow goes forward instead of falling to the ground?

Hit Me Like A Brick Wall

This morning I was reading my usual news sites, catching up on weekend news and I saw this post– “Figuring It Out: Stop Taking Dating Advice” and wow– it stopped me in my tracks.

Single Girls, Stop taking dating advice.

I’ve recently been happy where things are with me and the guy I’m seeing– we are just being us, taking things slow and casual.  Granted, I do feel like they are more of a relationship then the “casual dating” he and I discussed– but who said we can’t make up our own rules.  That’s when this article hit me.  I’m beyond happy where things are with this guy and at the risk of sounding like a typical girl– I think we could work out for a while– not to rush things though, but the only times I start questioning it and second guessing his feelings and intentions are when other people question it.

I’m tired of hearing casual dating is a cop out or an excuse to date other girls– cause guess what people, neither of us are dating other people.  This article was just what I needed to hear– to stop worrying about how others feel about he and I and where we stand.  I need be happy and trust my gut and where God is leading me…

I hope you take a moment to read this article on The Everygirl and gain some insight from it too.

Casual Dating– Is it real?

I was approached by someone not quite ready to move into a relationship, with good reasons, about causally dating.  At first I thought this was going to be a big issue and I’d end up heartbroken, because I didn’t want to casually date this guy– I wanted a real relationship.  To be honest, it’s too early to tell how it’s working, but I’ve got some initial thoughts.

We aren’t causally dating.  We are dating without a title.

I say this, because:

  • We each are only dating each other.
  • We go on dates.
  • We hold hands, he puts his arm around me, etc in public and around his friends.
  • We text throughout the week.
  • We hangout on weekends together
  • He texts me when he’s drunk.
  • We have plans for the semi-not-so-near-future.

Umm… last I checked, all that was dating?  The only thing not going on here is a line on Facebook saying “In a Relationship with—” and introductions that start “This is my boyfriend/girlfriend….”

Casual dating, I thought it was possible– but I’m learning, it’s really just a relationship without the pressure from within, only pressure from society.

The Relationship Speedway

The Michigan Speedway is noted for having the fastest “modern day” race times due to it’s super smooth surface– the fastest speed recorded being 203.241 MPH.  Today, it seems like everyone is trying to reach that speed with relationships.

Knowing each other immediately leads to dating, which immediately leads to commitment and marriage.  What happened to friendship and courtship and dating progressing into going “steady” and engagements?  What’s the rush?  People are living longer than they ever have before, yet we are more in a rush to skip the parts of life that we actually live though.  We are hurrying from end to end and not enjoying the processes and journeys that get us there.

When was the last time you looked up at the stars or watched the clouds move in the sky or smelled the flowers?  I’m guessing it’s been a while, because our generation is in too much of a hurry rushing from one thing to another– especially relationships.

People tend to get “used” to being in a relationship, so when it ends they don’t take the time to move on, they just jump into a new one. Then they rush into the physical aspects because they are “used” to sleeping with someone and “used” to always having someone there.  Get out of the comfort zone– stop doing things because you are “used” to them!

Slow down, try new things!  On the relationship speedway, go 5mph instead of 203.241 and turn right sometimes instead of always going left– you might end up somewhere great!

Two Views To Everything

I had an argument with a male-friend this morning and I realized.  So often we see things from our views only.  We don’t even try to see things from the others perspectives or thing about what they are going through– sometimes we even know what they are feeling or dealing with, but get blinded by the fact that we didn’t get our way.

I began to interpret this into relationships…

It’s no wonder so often things don’t work in relationships. We don’t think about the other’s views or feelings on a subject and then we get passionate and headed to defend our stance, we end up attacking the others views.

There are always some issues that can’t be compromised on, I’m not saying compromise on everything.  But are there things you can compromise on?  Even if there aren’t– what if you step back before passion takes over, think about the others thoughts and reply and discuss the issue with that in mind.  Even if you don’t agree, if you are discussing instead of attacking– I promise things will be better.

Even if you can’t always agree to disagree or meet in the middle… maybe you can at least make sure you are looking at the same page in the same book?  It’s okay if you take a different meaning from the words on the page.