Just Not Ready

As always, I seem to find an image that captures what’s on my mind.  (Yes, I know it’s because I’m subconciously looking for answers)

Truth

What if I’m falling for him thinking he just needs more time, but in reality he’s just not ready?  I don’t mean like days away from being ready. But can this guy be the right guy at the wrong time?

I’ve always believed in God’s timing and that he has a greater plan, but I’ve known this guy for about six years— is it possible that all along he’s been the right person, but the wrong time?  Or is it the right time and the wrong person?  I barely noticed this guy at first, we were distant friends who barely acknowledged each other, now we don ‘t go a day without talking…

So many questions and all I know is that I’m falling and he isn’t quite ready to catch me.

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After Talking To A Younger Girl

Recently, I decided to reach out to a younger girl who has started dating a friend of mine.  I figured she and I would be seeing a good bit of each other, let’s try to see if we have anything in common.

WOW!  I have no idea if it’s just that I’m 5 years older (not that I’m old) but that there is a lot of maturing done after the age of 20 and a lot more done after college graduation– so it feels like we are 15 years apart or if we really don’t have much in common… but I have never realized how young I was at 20 until these conversations with her.

I’ve realized how crazy and desperate we sound when we just want to talk to our friends about the guy we like or are dating. I also realized how crazy we have to sound to the guys we are liking or dating– so maybe it’s no wonder we run them away?

But I also realized how glad I am to know there are just some things I’d never say.  Example?  She mentioned how her boyfriend has been sick and she really didn’t want to leave him, but she knew he was in good hands– with his mother. Sweetie, you will NEVER take care of him as good as his mother does– period.  The fact you even had this thought scares me for your mental help.

I don’t have guys or dating down, but I’m so glad I’ve passed the stages of a 20 year old in the dating arena and with my thoughts and feelings towards men.

Be a Friend– Share Thoughts Carefully

Friends share everything right? WRONG.

If a friend is worried about something and you don’t know either way, but she really wants to be happy any enjoy what she’s worried about– don’t lead her to question those thoughts and worry.  Friends don’t introduce unneeded negative thoughts into another friends mind.

There’s enough negativity in the world– we don’t need our friends of all people adding to the negative thoughts we fight daily.

Support your friends, disagree with them if it calls for it, break them down gently, but do not offer a negative opinion or thought before you know the story she’s worrying about.

When You Stop Thinking…

I stopped “talking” to this guy a little over a week ago and since I’ve pretty much stopped looking for a guy to just appear and click.  It’s funny how easy it is to just stop thinking about men and relationships and dating when you are committed to just being you.  I’m not worried about what guys I might see out or at the grocery store, I don’t think of “maybe this will happen…” scenarios before bed.  I just– live.

It’s funny how when we are talking to a guy or thinking about finding one, that’s all that consumes so many of our thoughts. Then you stop and it all becomes clear– it’s about you and your life, not the guy.  He’ll fit in where he’s supposed to.

I encourage you all to take some time and just stop thinking.

Nice Girls Finish Last?

The saying goes, “Nice Guys Finish Last.” But where do nice girls finish?

After a recent conversation with a friend who I dated in college… I was told that I need to “stop being so nice.”

Immediately this quote came to mind:

I shared this concept of being “too nice” with a friend– and it hit us.  We couldn’t name a single bitchy/mean/not so nice girl that ever stayed single long… and why shouldn’t we have realized that? How many of us girls pick the jerk over the nice guy every time? Almost all of us.

So what does a “nice” girl do?  I can’t just start acting hateful and bitchy to every guy I like, that’s what boys did in second grade on the playground, right?  Maybe it’s a balancing act… don’t sugar coat as much, don’t race to “make everything better.”  Sometimes just say “I’m sorry” instead of “I wish I could help, please let me know what I can do.”  Maybe it’s not about not being nice, but about not being so nice they are afraid to break you?

Does anyone have thoughts on a girl who is “too nice?”