Timing Is A Peculiar Thing

Sometimes it’s funny how timing of things works.

Recently I met the parents and sisters of the man I’m dating, they loved me and I loved them. I just “fit.” There’s been no pretending to be someone I’m not or them trying to make sure I like them or anything, they know how things are with their son and I and it just works. His baby sister and I have actually gotten close and talk almost daily now. 

More recently than meeting them, I’ve had a serious falling out with my own family. To be fair, it was something I could have predicted a long time before– I just wasn’t anticipating the match to be lit when it did or as heavy as the blow was.

Today it hit me how funny and perhaps fitting it is that as my own family is turning their backs to me, his family is opening their arms to me. 

Don’t Be Vague.

Men– women are going to over-stress and over-think and over-analyze in pretty much every way you can imagine.  The key to stopping this isn’t telling her not to worry, it’s not being vague.  Make sure you tell her everything about the subject so she doesn’t have to wonder what you meant, or what someone thought or how you feel or whatever.  

She’d rather be a little let down and disappointed than spend hours, days, or weeks worrying about whatever is going on.

What Happens When You Face Your Biggest Relationship Fear

This weekend was long and fast and hard. Since I started dating the guy I am, I’ve had one big fear– that I wouldn’t be able to measure up to the memories he has of his ex girlfriend.  In his eyes, she was the one he was meant to spend the rest of his life with, she’s the one who got away.  This weekend I came face to face with the fears as he let me know that they had been texting.  

I should have stayed calm, feeling relieved that he wanted to tell me about it instead of doing it behind my back and keeping it a secret. I should have known to find out before reacting.  However, I took the– why does he need to talk to her if I’m here in front of him route.  After a weekend of self-doubt and deprecation and crying on my couch or on the running trail– he finally let me know I need to stop worrying about her and stop stressing.  He reminded me that we are on the same page here and that she’s a part of his past and it’s just something that’s there.

I’m not saying my fear of her creeping back into his life or heart is gone, but I think this weekend was good in a way. He needed to remember that she hurt him so he can continue to let go and he needed to see that I wasn’t just going to get jealous and abandon him like she did.

I may be a fool setting myself up for hurt and a broken heart, but I’m risking that for something I believe could be really good. 

A Mental Battle

I realized something yesterday– there’s a part of a relationship that has everything to do with your partner, but nothing at the same time. There’s a mental battle between the doubts and wonders and fear that creeps into your mind and the trust that the things they are telling you and actions they are showing you are true.

We all can doubt, what if the don’t want to hurt my feelings or if they are confused. We’re all scared to be hurt or to fall in love… but isn’t the real fear that we let our guard down? That we truly allow ourselves to get our hopes up and trust that this other person is being honest with us?

It’s a mental battle– and sometimes can be the highest hurdle in a relationship.

Just Blessed

I sat in my new apartment last night, on my new sectional drinking bedtime tea… that’s when it hit me. I’m just blessed.  I’ve got some really great people in my life, a great job with amazing co-workers, I’m healthy and improving my fitness constantly. I’m even dating a guy who I truly care about and genuinely think things could work out with– he even lets me know there’s a future with us.

How’d I get so lucky?

Why You Will Always Believe In Love

Thought Catalog

You may have endured countless heartbreaks and hurt. Your boyfriend has cheated on you, your girlfriend casually says, “I just don’t love you no more.” Your father may have left you since you were a child or your sister betrayed your trust for not keeping your deepest darkest secret. But deep down, deep down, you still have this tiniest bit of hope that the next love you’ll find is going to work.

You may have tried and failed. And tried and failed again. You may have twenty names in your it-just-didn’t-work-between-us list. Brad. Jack. Jen. David. Sam. Hugh. Whoever. You’ve cried yourself to sleep every single time after all those breakups, and you vow to guard your heart a little better – to not give every piece of puzzle to the next one who comes along. But you’ll never be able to stop putting yourself out there. You’ll find yourself…

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19 Surprisingly Hot Things Guys Do Without Realizing It

You know those sayings that end in “And everything on this list made you think of that guy…” This blog entirely should have ended in that for me.

Thought Catalog

Well, maybe they do realize they’re doing it, but I just want to imagine that it’s a happy accident. I don’t want to believe that any guys are actually that sexily cunning, and are using their powers for evil. Let me live in my peaceful ignorance.

1. Having a perfectly subtle scent of cologne/aftershave that doesn’t overpower but leaves you with that “boy smell” that you just want to get high off of the rest of the day. (God forbid they let you borrow some article of clothing, in which case you might get some sort of lung infection from vigorously inhaling the fibers through your nose.)

2. Lingering on a hug for just a moment too long.

3. Looking you directly in the eyes when they talk to you, with perhaps the occasional glance down to your lips while you’re talking to them.

4. Licking their lips gently when…

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